Tales of Arachnid Woe, Part OMG

So, after my last brush with death via spider, I thought I was done with arachnid horror stories for at least a couple of months.  I was WRONG!

Like lots of stories that happen at our faire, this one starts with: Non merde, there I was...

backstage, having second breakfast.  Second breakfast is a very important part of my faire day.  Actual breakfast usually happens sometime around 6:30, so by the time the gate opens and it's time to face the general public, I've burned through whatever protein, carbs, sugar and caffeine I started my day with.  Traditionally, second breakfast is either a scone or sausage roll from The Bakery, or a hard boiled egg.  On this particular day, I opted for the egg.

So... there I was, egg in hand.  And just as a sort of extended side note, is there any general consensus on the proper way to boil an egg so that the results are a) easy to peel, 2) not tinged with green, and D) fully cooked through the middle?  I've heard and tried so many different variations with no consistent results.  I've put cold eggs in cold water and room temperature eggs in room temperature water.  I've brought them to a quick boil, a slow boil, an apathetically timed boil.  I've boiled them for few minutes and many minutes. I've rinsed them in cold water or left them to sit in their own hot water.  I've added salt or vinegar to the water. I've watched the pot and ignored the pot and told the pot sweet stories of the noble eggs that have gone before... anyway, it's a source of consternation that I cannot fathom the correct method to be able to reproduce results that are good.

But back to the breakfast in question, which was my second of the day.  So, with my hard boiled eggs, I like salt.  Usually just sort of sprinkled on the egg, however, those wise and colorful ladies with whom I most often share my second breakfast have improvised an innovative solution that allows me to justify potato chips for breakfast.  Yes, indeed--just use the salt on the chips instead of sprinkling it on the egg.  Brilliant!  On this day, I decided to rebel even further and skip the potato chips and go straight to the Sun Chips, a decision that I would soon regret with every fiber of my not-insubstantial being.

**whew** deep breath... even the retelling is stressful...

Ok, I'm ready to go on.

The trials and tribulations of my commute

Alright, so... it's a miracle I'm alive today. I mean, in more than just the usual "every life is a miracle" type way. It's a miracle that I survived the drive to work. So there I was, driving to work, cruising along 75 at slightly above the speed limit thanks to a spectacular lack of slow-causing traffic. Then, I noticed something pop into view. It was in the middle of my windshield, but I was having a hard time focusing on it. Probably because I was looking through the windshield and not at it. Once my eyes focused, I realized the awful truth.


A spider had come down from my sun-visor-shade-thingy and was now dangling by its silk right in front of my face.

Alright, let's back up a minute to discuss the severity of the situation.