Gondor may not need pants, but I do

Last week I had two pairs of black pants.  This week I have none. 

If this doesn't seem like a tragedy, please remember that finding pants that fit is nothing short of a miracle given my particular hip-to-waist ratio plus the fact that I have 6' of leg to cover.

Now, this story has it's roots all the way back in my days of working retail.  I don't know the average lifespan of a pair of pants in the normal woman's wardrobe, but my husband seems to go through pants with alarming speed.  Thankfully, he's a little easier to clothe than I am.  Most of the pants* that I currently own are older than my marriage.  Having only been married 4.5 years, that's not really that big a deal. 

Last week, I had 1 pair of pants at least 10 years old (black), three approximately 6 yr pants (2 the same brand & style, one black, one brown, and a charcoal pair from the same store), one 18 month old pair (tan), and one 6 mo old pair (grey).  That was plenty of pants for working.  I had more than 5 days worth of work-appropriate pants for the 4 days of the week that I needed such things.  All was well with the world.  Yes, some of my pants seemed aged, perhaps even approaching "venerable" as far as pants go, but I was content.  They all fit reasonably well.  Some were getting a little shorter than I like, but not embarrassingly short yet.  Some didn't quite fit in the waist or thighs, but it was all pretty good.  Decent.  Acceptable.  I was content in my pantedness.

A few weeks earlier though, it was a whole different story.  There was the Great Pantsless Scare of 2011.

Whistle while you work to a happy little working song

Chores.  We all have them.  We all do them.  There are some that are better than others.

The chores that I avoid at all costs (at this point in my life I relegate them to my husband):

• sweeping/mopping
• ironing
• yard work of any kind

The chores I avoid or try to pass off to my husband as often as possible:

• taking out the trash
• cleaning litter boxes
• cleaning the bathroom (especially sinks)

The chores I don't particularly like or mind:

• dishes (though I like the emptying of the dishwasher more than the loading)
• washing/drying laundry (by which I mean the taking of clothes to the washing maching & transfering to the dryer)
• folding/hanging clothes (gives me an excuse to watch a movie)

The chores I really like to do:

• vacuum!  It's fast, it makes noise, and it makes an immediate & noticable difference in the appearance of a room. 
• Put the folded/hung clothes away.  It frees up so much space & makes me feel like I can go shopping in my own closet again.
• Organizing the miscelaneous crud that accumulates on our horizontal surfaces.  I'm just weird like that.

The purpose of this is really to help me put off doing some chores right now actually. 

The Funkiest Funk© and the Blanket Escapade of 2010

So, I'm finally going to tell the story of The Great Blanket Escapade of 2010.

So, many moons ago, Jeremy & I were gifted a lovely chenille throw.  It is the snuggliest, softest, bestest blanket on the couch.  It's a soft shade of mossy-silvery green.  It has such a nice weight to it when draped across you.  It stays cool so you can have it on even when it's not necessarily cold enough for a blanket, because I enjoy being swaddled pretty much all the stinkin' time.

And this blanket, it lived on the couch, and it was well snuggled.  But eventually, as is often want to happen with things that touch humans, it developed The Funkiest Funk©.  Our brave heroine tried to ignore The Funk.  She tried to Febreeze The Funk.  She even tried to blame The Funk on poor, unsuspecting cats & husbands.

But alas!  It was no use!  The Funk would have to be eradicated, and this... this required The Washing Machine!

Much like a child without his blankie, our heroine was distraught at the thought of having to go a whole movie without her favorite blanket... see, that's when our heroine does laundry--while watching movies, so she can both be productive in doing housework and sit on her tushie at the same time.  It's an ingenious plan really, and you're welcome to try it at your domicile at any time.

So into The Washing Machine did yon blanket go.