Squash vs. Cleaver

If you've had a bad day, a really stressful day, I suggest eating squash for dinner. Not summer squash or zucchini, although those are very tasty, but I had in mind something bigger... something gourd-like.

Photo Courtesy of Sunrise Seeds

I suggest the acorn squash. Not because it is super tasty, though it is. I won't tell you of its deliciously creamy texture or the beautiful smells it creates as it's baking or of the myriad of delicious things you can stuff into it, or the ridiculous number of ways to prepare it. It can be sweet or savory, which makes it a beautifully versatile little thing. But I don't care about that right now. This isn't about taste or texture or creativity of culinary delights. All those things are good and might help you to unwind and de-stress, but that's not what I'm currently recommending.

I don't recommend it because acorn squash (and most squashes in general, particularly "winter" squashes, although acorn squash is technically a "summer squash" even though you usually don't see it until fall like all the others) is super-healthy and packed with good stuff that's good for you, like beta-carotene, vitamins C, E & B6, fiber and potassium, although that is also true. It's probably got anti-oxidants in it too, which is great, because no one likes oxidants anyway. They do bad things and make us unhappy like make guacamole turn brown or faces turn wrinkly, or so I'm told.

No, none of these thing is the reason I recommend an acorn squash for dinner after a long and stressful day.


This is the reason I recommend it:

Photo courtesy of the Betty Crocker Store

The Cleaver!


See, after a hard day, nothing feels quite so good as taking a very large cutting implement and hacking into the firm and mostly unyielding flesh of a good squash. Well, ok, a hot bath, a good book and some nice wine might feel good too, but I didn't have any of those things last night. What I did have was a cleaver and a squash. Butternut in my case, but that's beside the point.


See, a good squash won't open up easy, so you have to use some force. I, having cheap and unremarkable countertops, like to use the back of my hand to get the cleaver situated in the squash. Then, because the squash doesn't want to open up, it sort of holds on to the blade, so you can pick up the squash with the cleaver...


Then I like to bash said squash against said countertops until the thing splits open. I do not picture the skulls of people who annoy me. I do not imagine that I am busting through obstacles and impediments with the same blunt force that I'm applying to my squash. No, I simply enjoy the process of beating the crap out of something in a useful and productive manner than leads to a delicious and healthful meal at the end of it all. Healthful, that is, if you don't drown the thing in butter and salt, which is how I like my squash.