Monday, October 18, 2010

The Bean and the Quest for Pants

Most of the women I know understand the struggle to find pants that fit well.  Of all the many body shapes and sizes that we cover, not one of us can just go in, find our size & walk out confident that pants will fit.

First of all, there really isn't one "size" that we are.  Sizes are not consistent between brands, let alone the myriad permutations involved when you account for all the different cuts and styles offered.

Navigating the waters between straight cut, regular fit, relaxed fit, boot cut, flare, hip huggers, low rise, mid rise, natural rise... oh, it's a treacherous task.

Add on to that having legs longer than average, and it just makes shopping for pants a blood-pressure raising event.

It seems overly demanding to want pants that:
a) fit my waist
2) fit my thighs
D) touch my feet

Alright, so I have pants that do these things, the problem is that I don't have a single pair that does all these things at the same time.  Some pairs get closer than others, and those see the most wear.

How many of you have pants in your closet that you've worn once, maybe twice, maybe never? 
You keep thinking if only... if only the seat was just a bit roomier, or the legs a little longer, or shorter, or if you'd just stay away from cake for a few days you could wear them.


What a waste of closet space.  I recently purged my closet of all such offending garments and invited my girl-friends to do the same, then we all brought our rejected clothes together & tried on each others cast offs.  Got a lot of great clothes that day.  But for that to happen, you have to be merciless, and that's not easy to do.

See, clothes are a kind of optimism.  The right shirt, skirt, pants, dress... they make you feel like the best possible version of yourself, which is a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.

My father will often marvel at the way women brag about sale prices.  When he compliments a well dressed woman, and she proceeds to tell him that she got the dress for only $X.YY dollars, he's baffled.  I mean, if you look like a hundred bucks, why debunk the myth?  Oh, but Daddy... it's called bargain hunting for a reason.  We like to brag about our hunting prowess.  Shopping is the thrill of the chase.

But when it comes to shopping for pants, it's like trying to hunt a water buffalo with a spork.

Or something.  Having never hunted anything except bargains, I can't really say for sure, but I feel about as well-armed.

So wish me well, Internet.  Tomorrow, I go shopping for pants.

I may need a flight of mini-martinis to bolster my spirit afterward...

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