Thursday, February 3, 2011

A staring role

Ever-so-occasionally I decide to cast the made-for-tv movie version of my life. It would be a somewhat plotless wonder of a rambling film, not really suited for the big screen but with so many channels on tv now, there's got to be a place somewhere for a "coming to love oneself" movie type thing about a tall girl from the suburbs... at least, I dream there is, so I can imagine my dream cast.

Not knowing what portions of my story would be committed to film, I don't have everyone cast yet, because I don't know if I'll need Betty White to play my first grade teacher Mrs. Davis or Phylicia Rashād to be my kindergarten teacher Mrs. G. Jessica Tandy should have played my Grandma B. That being said, I'm pretty sure that I will play a pretty big role in the movie of my life. If we have to do childhood stuff, I want Georgie Henley to play the little me. I can't think of a single actress who has quite the right giraffapotamusque quality to play me.
My go-to girl is Joan Cusack for she is tall, funny, and very giraffy. We share a birthday, so having the siblings Cusack play my brother & I would be perfect, except Joan is older, which makes things a little awkward for storytelling. Kate Winslet is lovely and could occasionally remind me of me at times, but certainly not tall enough, and not really funny enough... which sounds vain, and perhaps it is, but I have humor. Drew Barrymore has the kind of quirky cute and funny that I think of as remeniscent of me, and she makes a fairly believeable red head, but she's neither giraffy or hippopatomy. Though to be fair, looks aren't the only consideration when casting folks. I obviously want someone in the right ball-park (which is why I'm not casing Claire Danes to play me or Cuba Gooding, Jr. to play Andrew), but the attitude is more important. Of course, they're actors/esses, so suposedly they should be able to play any attitude, but we all know that some people are just more believable in certain roles than others. So age considerations aside, I think I'm sticking with Joan. Anyone know if she can carry a tune? I desire the made-for-tv movie version of my life to be a musical.

So I've got a skeleton cast sketched out for now, with lots of fudging on age and availability and such...
I haven't thought much about the casting of all my niecephews or cousins and such. There are lots of friends missing from this list, and most of them would have to be cast if we did any sort of scene at Faire, and in my life, why wouldn't we... but I just haven't gotten that far yet.

It's also important to remember that these are the people I would choose the play these people because of how they seem to me. Don't agree with your casting? It's my movie, and this is how I see you, so just ask me and I'll gladly explain why I chose that particular actor/ess. Or I'll just smile enigmatically and waggle my eyebrows. You never know.

The Family:
Mom: Anne Archer
Dad: Gerald McRaney
Brother: John Cusack
Husband: Cillian Murphy*

The In-Laws:
Sister-B: Amy Adams
Sister-Jo: Stephanie Courtney

Sister-Jennifer: Drew Barrymore
Mother-in-law: Kathy Bates
Father-in-law: Sam Elliott

The Best Friend:
MBFJ(c)G: Sandra Bullock**
and for her hubby, The Duck: Tom Hanks

The Nebraska Set:
Andrew: James McAvoy***
Paula: Kristen Johnson
Andrea: Reese Witherspoon
Karen: Zoey Deschanel
Shannon: Keira Knightley

The Lace:
Red: Bette Midler
Orange: Kathy Najimy
Yellow: Catherine Zeta-Jones
Green: Jenna Elfman
Teal: Bernadette Peters
Blue: Jamie Lee Curtis
Mom2: Helen Mirren

* I originally had thought to cast James McAvoy as my husband, which would have required some very interesting staging to reduce the height differences between Joan and himself, and when I changed my mind, my darling husband said, "So I've been downgraded from pretty to creepy." While a valid concern given some of Mr. Murphy's roles, I chose to think of it as being upgraded from Scottish to Irish. And Cillian is still plenty pretty. And he sings, so there's that. I briefly considered Jonathan Rhys Meyers--he sings too--but the attitude is all wrong, and I don't like him with facial hair, while I much prefer my husband to be not-so-clean shaven.

**There is often a conflict in casting--someone who would be perfect in two roles but should probably only play one to avoid confusing everyone, which is odd, because I don't think of Shannon as being like my best-friend Jenny (c)G, so Sandra must be more flexible an actress than I thought... but anyway, when it came down to it, I had to give first preference to MBFJC, so she get's Sandra. In Shannon's made for TV movie version of her life, she can get Sandra to play the starring role...

***Most everybody gets a vote in who plays them, except Andrew. I'm set on McAvoy and I'm not changing my mind unless someone can come up with someone miraculously more Andrew-ish, though his wife and most of SLC might disagree. I mean, I have no idea of McAvoy can carry a tune in a bucket, let alone be able to be as awesome as Andrew, so I might have to reconsider... but still, my movie, so nyeah!


Kari said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kari said...

what I meant to say was, should I make an appearance, I would request Janeane Garafalo to play me.

Cause she's got no filter and is quirky cute.

LE Bean said...

Awesome! Since Stockard Channing is both too short and too old, I think I'm tapping Mary Steenburgen to play Shannon, and Allison Janey to be my doppleganger.

Anonymous said...

my husband says thank you, i'm sure. (and i love allison janney - she should play the older version of in flash forwards or something)

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