Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Totally in denial

The other day, I got a great compliment. 2 ladies whom I love, when I turned down an alcoholic beverage, said, "Oh, I forgot you were pregnant." This is nice for me to hear, as it confirms my belief that I am more than just a fetus-growing apparatus.  My life is about more than just making a baby, but it's still nice to hear that from people who see me on a regular basis. Then, at a restaurant, I was talking to the mother of another toddler while our progeny played in the waiting area, and she asked if we had thought about having any more kids. I said I was due in November and she said I didn't even look pregnant! Hooray!

Now I'm going to do nothing but talk about myself and my fetus, so you know... there's that.

Last time I did this whole pregnant thing, I didn't take any pictures of myself until around 22 weeks. I just couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that I was getting bigger. Because of the shape of my hudge, I never had a round belly, so I never felt like I looked identifiably pregnant until... 37, 38 weeks. In denial, I know.

So this time around, I'm trying to take more pictures. And this time around I'm seeing the difference in pictures that I don't register daily with my eyeballs.
6 weeks-why so yellow?
14 weeks

18 weeks

So now I've gotten to the point where I'm not really comfortable hiding the hudge anymore. I still don't feel like I look pregnant--possibly because what is sticking out is the reorganization of my intestines, spleen, and liver, not baby yet. Honestly, I feel like I look like I did before I lost all the weight that I put on before getting pregnant the first time. In the midst of a quite successful (for me) round of Biggest Blogging Loser, 10 weeks into a 12 week weight loss thingy, I peed on a stick, and thus stopped trying to lose weight. Now, due to some first trimester hijinx, I didn't stop losing right away. I have managed to hold steady since my 8 week appointment, which pleases me. If I can make it to the third trimester with the majority of my 11-20 lbs still to gain, that would be great. I managed it with Eleanor, and that's the only reason that I was able to be back at my pre-pregnancy weight the day after I got home from the hospital. 11 lbs gained, minus 8.5 lb baby, fluid, etc., etc., etc. Wow, I've really gotten off topic now. 

I'm trying to wear things that help bridge the gap from feeling "just fat" to looking "halfway pregnant." Well, I'm all the way pregnant, but halfway through the process, ish, in 2 weeks. Anyway, I've stopped trying to hide the hudge and now I'm trying to accentuate the hudge. This is... still a foreign concept to me. I look in the mirror and don't see any differences. I look at these pictures and realize how much my brain is lying to me. Also that I seem to have my dress on backwards in one of them... hrmmm

Also, on Saturday I felt little squirmy squid squirm. It's just as neat this time as it was last time. Hooray!
Here at 18 weeks, Clover is clocking in at approximately 7oz, and roughly the size of a bell pepper. So sayeth my e-mail. Other than still being more tired than I'd like, I'm feeling pretty good these days. Eating better, and feeling like eating more. I'm trying to be more consistent with my yoga too, especially since I've been noticing more soreness as muscles start moving out of the way and all that jazz. 

1 comment:

Shannon said...

You carry babies so well! Super excited! Thank you for having babies for me to hold!

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