Monday, August 30, 2010

here, hold this

This week, I shall be listing things.  Lists are one of my many hobbies. 

But first, a word about bookmarks: no.

Specifically, I have a problem with bookmarks.  Not a moral or ethical problem, more a practical problem.

Let me clarify further (So I don't get crazy hate-mail from slighted gifters or bookmark enthusiasts): I don't have anything against bookmarks. I think they're keen. Wonderful inventions really. I own several--only one of which I could tell you the precise location of (it's on my refrigerator, because it looks like a magnet...).  But I don't use them for their intended purpose. Mostly, because they aren't where I am when I'm reading. I tend to do this: find a book I want to read, stuff it in my purse, or on the seat in the car next to me... wait, misplaced modifier. I don't put it on the seat of the car next to me. I put it NEXT TO ME, on the seat that is next to me in my car. That's better. Anyway, where was I, other than in the car? Oh yes, bookmarks. See, I don't grab one when I grab the book, because usually they aren't by the books either. I don't buy them either. I see no need.

When I get to a place where I want to stop reading I do one of two things, neither of which is to dog-ear the page, because I find that offensive to the integrity of the book, and also because it's functionally next to useless. What's one little fold going to do, really?

No, I either a) memorize the page that I'm on or 2) search my surroundings for a proxy bookmark.

Things that are good:
  • receipts
  • cards
  • ribbons
  • hair ties (if it's a hard-cover not too big to stretch the poor thing to snapping)
  • scraps of paper torn from envelopes of mail I've opened
  • clean napkins
  • post-it notes folded in half so they stick to themselves
  • paper clips
  • coupons
  • those fliers folks stick on your windshield while you're in the grocery store
Things that aren't good, but I've used anyway:
  • pens 
  • dirty napkins (it was an accident, I promise!!) 
  • checks (took me for-stinking-ever to find it to cash it) 
  • post-it notes not folded in half so they stick to the pages
  • forks, knives, or any other type of silverware
  • fingers
  • my cell phone
  • the cat*
  • cds
  • entire envelopes or other un-folded pieces of paper that stick out from 3 sides of the book in an annoying get-in-the way type fashion
I'm just sayin'...

*it was more a "set the book down on its belly and wander off" but I set it down belly-to-belly with the cat... and the persnickity beast wandered off

Morning Awakening, colour lithograph 1899--on my awesome new bookmark!
EDIT: So... in the sort of weird twist of fate that life likes to throw my way, when I got to work today, I was gifted a beautiful bookmark from one of the sweet ladies I work with who just got back from Prague.  And now I have to put it in my purse, so it will live where my book lives... which may make this whole post moot in a week or two, but just know that this is the way it was before today, and it would stay this way except for my wonderful friends...

1 comment:

Sandmansister said...

As a fellow paperback-in-purse carrier, I have two words for you, my friend: magnetic bookmark.

I even have one that's a pengooin.

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