Thursday, June 23, 2011

Separating out the chaff

Last year, a wonderful tradition was started: The Semi-Annual Closet Swap! Twice a year (so far, in summer & winter) we (my girlfriends and myself) get ruthless with our closets and bring the cast-offs to share with others. Then, we go shopping in one another's old clothes and give things second life, or to Goodwill, depending.

So, as I prepare to go through my closet, I have to remember to be ruthless. If it doesn't make me happy when I put it on, I'm getting rid of it. If it's stained, torn, stretched out or falling apart, I will put it in a pile to Not Pass Go, Straight to Goodwill. If it just doesn't fit right, I'll give my friends a chance to save it. Mostly what I'm finding is that nothing is long enough--not pants, shirts, skirts, dresses or... scarves, whatever. It's all too short for my liking. I can't figure out if I recently grew 1" in all my vertical measurements, or if everything in my closet shrunk in the Texas heat. I don't feel any taller, but maybe my ideas grew. Maybe I suddenly decided that was previously just fine is now unacceptable. Thankfully, I still have an entire closet and 9 drawers full of clothes so purging even 75% of it would still leave me with a decent wardrobe, and one that I loved. That sounds really stinking appealing. The only thing that doesn't sound appealing is the thought of having to do laundry more often. Although if I didn't have 8 loads worth of clothes, it probably wouldn't seem like such a daunting task.

Reduce! Every shirt that isn't on a first-name basis with the waistband of whatever coordinating bottom-covering garment I wear it with is right out. I want all my shirts to cover my belly and be able to wave at my hips. The trick is being able to show that I have a waist without emphasizing the fact that I have a hudge. I think I'll settle for an overall effect that is less hippo than giraffe and call it good. Any skirt whose hem is closer to my thutt (that gray area between butt and upper thigh) than my knees is getting ejected from my closet! All pants that don't touch my feet or waist (by which I mean have that annoying 2" gap where they expanded to fit my hips and didn't come back ) are going in a pile to be donated to someone with less length of leg or a smaller hip-waist-ratio-thingy. The problem is, I don't think I know anyone who fits BOTH of those things, so those pants might just wind up at Goodwill waiting for some other person I don't know to give them a home. Of course, now that I think about it, after the Great Pantsless Escapade of 2011, most of my pants are pretty acceptable right now and I only have a bare minimum of pants, so they'll probably get spared from the masacre.

Re-use! I will take those un-wanted shirts, pants, skirts, etc from my friends that meet my standards of length and love, and Iwill give them a new home.

Recycle! Um... I think I might take a few of the just-too-short pants and make them capris! Well, I might, but I don't actually sew, so... nevermind. To Goodwill!
Also, I'm getting rid of single socks. If I can't find a matching sock to put on my other foot, I am NOT keeping it. I'll make them into sock puppets or something, but no more basket of socks that I can't wear. I have an entire drawer full to bursting of fun and interesting socks. That will suffice! Although, speaking of sock puppets, I need to work on my Flora puppet a bit. I like that her hair is sewn on in such a way that I can customize it as neccessary to match my own hair style, as seen here, squinky face not withstanding:

and for the life of me, I don't remember who took this picture... bad Bean...

Anyway, my fascination with sock puppets is totally the fault of one Ronn Lucas, and if I could ever get his show on DVD with Scorch & Buffalo Bill I would be so very excited. He disassembled his puppet on stage, and then HIS HAND talked to him! In SPANISH! And then he turned it into a sock puppet with just a tube sock and a rubber band and some googly eyes and it was BRILLIANT! It really did require ALL CAPS, that's how great it was. Trust me.


Beylit said...

I really need to remember to clean out my closet and send stuff to the clothing exchange since I can not be there in person. Even if I can not be there, it doesn't mean someone else shouldn't have a shot at the clothes I don't wear. I have a number of cute things that simply don't fit over my boobs right, and that is not pleasing. Someone with less boob should enjoy these things.

On a totally different note, sock puppets are the one kind of puppets that don't creep me out. I have a love of Siffle and Olly which was a stoner sock puppet show on MTV back in the 90's. My college roommate had a video of like 9 straight hours of the show. It was brilliant.

LE Bean said...

Calls, calls, calls! Calls from the Public! Oh, I adored that show... I would like THAT show on DVD too...

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