What I can control

I've been thinking about resolutions & goals & what-not. I'm a few weeks late to that party, but I'm going to ride the coattails of my 2 week late baby.

There's stuff that I want out of 2014. I want a whole calendar year where no one I love dies. Eleanor has been to more funerals in her tiny life than I'd been to in my whole life before she was born. I'd rather Garrison take after me in that respect, not her. But other than resolving not to commit murder, I can't control that.

I'd really like to see the people closest to me have true joy & peace in their lives. Other than resolving to be less stressful to them, I can't control that.

I'd like my dad's cancer to stop growing. Forever. But I can't control that.

Here's what I can control & what I do want to do.

I want to have more dinners with my friends. I want to invite my friends to dinner for no reason other than I thought of them. I love when folks call and say, "Hey! It's a day that ends in y, wanna have tacos?" So I'm going to do that too. Come to Dallas. We'll have tacos.

Today I stepped on a scale while holding Garrison. The number I saw was still smaller than what I'd been seeing at this time last year. Right now I'm in the grips of The Nursing Hunger, but I would like to have some more protein/veggie snacks & less cake. Well. No. I never want less cake, but I'd like to continue to fit into my smaller sized clothes.

Oh, speaking of clothes, now that I'm (most likely) done being pregnant, I want to purge my closet. Adjusting my expectations to being a mom & wife as primary job duties comes with a shift in wardrobe. I have plenty of yoga pants. I don't want to look schlubby all the time. I want to be comfy but still feel like my clothes make the most of the shape I am.

Speaking of closets, I'd love to purge towels too. Move the ratty ones to the "dog's bath" cabinet & replace the decades old ones with absorbent & colorful ones. Ditto for sheets.

I want to get each of our cars outfitted with a proper emergency kit.

I didn't quite make my goal of 500 miles for 2012. I made it to 489. Not bad, but 500 this year.

I want to wear my stuff. Jewelry & makeup. I think this means I'll have to get up earlier, which I'm not excited about. For now, I'm going to choose sleep over accessories, but as Garrison sleeps longer at a stretch, that might change.

That's what I can work on. That's what I can control.

And now gratuitous pictures of my kids.