Friday, October 29, 2010

The Glorious Snooze Button

The snooze button is something that can destroy relationships.  Thankfully, both my husband & I are huge fans.  We like to snooze for extended periods of time, which in our house means more than half an hour. 

But yesterday, the weirdest thing happened.  I slept.  Real sleep.  See, for my husband to be at work by 5, he needs to leave the house by 4:30, so he needs to get out of bed between 4 and 4:15, so he sets his alarm for about 3:45, which means I set mine for 3:30 so I can help him wake up.  Usually, once he's out of the bed, I stretch out and suck up all the warmth he left behind, then get up, feed pets, check e-mail, and stuff, then about 6 when I start to get sleepy again, head back to bed for a nap until 8ish, when I get up and get moving so I can get to the office by 10, work until 6, then head out the door to my rehearsals, meetings, dinner dates, whatever that usually start about 7.  It's brilliant.  Of course, on days when I don't have to be anywhere at 7, I try to skip my 6-8 nap and just head in to the office and be done early, but 6 am is also just when the kitties get snuggly again, so trying to resist the siren call of an empty bed with warm kitties is often more than my feeble will power can take. 

Only that didn't happen yesterday. 
My alarm went off, and I turned it off.  Then I slept.  Then my husband got out of bed and I stretched out at 4:11.  And I slept!  The next thing I knew, it was 5:22.  I thought to myself, "oh, I'll just snooze a few more minutes."  Then it was 7:01, just like that.  Real sleep in more than 15 minute increments.  It was wonderful.  I felt better than I have in weeks.  I even did my hair and make-up before I got in the car.  I wore hose and heels.  It's like a miracle!

Ah, the luxuries of being a DINK* family.  Sleep being the main one, really.  And the glories of the snooze button.  See, we like to wake up slowly.  We like to fool ourselves that we're cheating and sleeping in.  Of course, I suppose we're actually cheating ourselves out of valuable real sleep for the semblance of semi-wakefulness, but old habits are hard to break and all.

Although, certain things about my snooze button drive me bonkers.  For instance--why is my snooze an uncustomizable 8 minutes long?  Do they doubt my ability to do  math in my mostly-asleep state?  Do they underestimate my ability to round and determine that two snoozes is 15 minutes and 3 is 25?  Are they trying to confuse me?  It rarely works.

What I do like about my little alarm clock are the practical things--like it has no batteries and doesn't plug in.  I'm convinced it's powered by the dream waves that escape my brain in the middle of the night.  Or somehow when it automagically syncs with the Seismic Atomic Clock in Denver to get the right time, it gets energy through the satellite waves... or something like that.  Point is, I don't have to worry about dead batteries or a power outage causing me to oversleep.  And it's got one of those little projector thingies that shines the time up on the ceiling... which would be more helpful if I could see better without my glasses, but it's big enough that I can usually squint out the approximate time.  The display also glows a nice comforting blue that is fairly useful as an impromptu flashlight if I need to find something on my side of the bed without turning a light on and risking waking the husband.  It's a good little alarm clock.

If only the snooze button came in normal, neat increments. 

*Double Income, No Kids

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