Definitions

What character from (insert current popular film series here) would you be?
What job should you pursue?
What flower are you?
What color defines you?

There are an astounding number of online quizzes all set to help you pin down your true identity.  Who and what you are, summed up in a few questions that seem to have nothing to do with the topic at hand, all so you can be told where you fit in, or stick out.

One night at dinner friend was bemoaning the need for classification and labeling and all that, and quiz es such as these used in job placement searches or whatever, and she was lamenting in particular the color question.  How could she be expected to know what color, out of all the colors the human eye can see, which one tiny word summed her up.  What makes me laugh, is that in unison, the rest of us all said in unison, "blue."  And that was the end of that.  Karen is blue.  We know it, and eventually she came to accept it too.

So, while I'm prone to mock the abundance of quizzes and their oddly specific focus, I'm susceptible too.  I want to know what flower, color, verb, shoe, hair style, country, mode of transportation, mythical creature, etc. defines me.  But I want someone else to tell me most of the time.  If left to my own devices, I tend to just choose my favorite, instead of looking for an answer that really defines me.  Then again, maybe my favorites do define me.  Maybe that's why they're my favorite.  Maybe I'm just making all this up in an effort to not have to think too hard about the stuff that comes next...

Well, thanks to some inspiration from the friendly folks down at Infinite Monkeys Publishing, who frequently put polls on their Facebook page, I'm not waiting for someone to ask the question.  I'm just going to make up the answers.  I will leave the interpretation up to you, my intuitive readers.

We all know that as an animal I would be a giraffe or hippopotamus or fat, sassy house cat.

• Color--dusty lavender... or maybe hot pink, but not fuchsia.  Fuchsia is too exotic to be me.
• Shoe--slip on black flat, with a bow
• Hair style--bun with fake hair (I'd love to be an elegant Audrey Hepburn french twist, but I'm not that sophisticated)
• Car--Hatchback with racing stripes... what my husband calls roller skate cars
• Genre of music--Top 40 pop hit masquerading as a breakthrough indie song... if there is such a thing
• Food--Potato
• The Sorting Hat would put me in Gryffindor, but it would contemplate both Hufflepuff and Slytherin a bit first. 
• Iconic Movie Character--the heroine's wacky best friend, as played by such wonderful ladies as Joan Cusak & Kristen Johnson, both of whom are authorized to dye their hair & play me in the made-for-tv movie version of my life.
• I'm Team Edward.  I like fluff.  I don't care about keeping vampires scary.  I like the books.  The movies don't really do it for me. 
• I'm a lime or linden tree (so says my name), and an alder (so says my birthday) and a willow (so says me).
• Flower--again, my name says Twinflower, but I'd pick a peony.  
• Superhero--Mystique, in some sort of clothes-wearing form
• Villain--ugh... I want to be Maleficent, but I'm probably more Ursula.  And not just in the hippo vs giraffe sort of way. 
• Mythical Creature--Mermaid.  
• Verb--giggle

Put it all together and what do you get?  Well, a weird mess I think.  How fitting.